If I want to marry a girl in the phillipines do I have to pay off her parents?

I understand this is the custom in Thailand but is it the custom in Phillipines and do you have to pay to take care of the parents when they retire?

Public Comments

1. No, there is no dowrey system but I think you'll be expected to "take care" of her parents. Set the groundrules early with your girlfriend before you marry her. If you don't want to support them, then say so. If you do, then set a fixed amount per month.
2. I have never heard of paying off the parents to marry a Filipina but you should know that if you marry a Filipina, you also marry the family. If you are a foreigner, you will automatically be considered as wealthy and you will be taking care of the parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins for the rest of your life. I understand this obligation and I still will be marrying my Filipina fiancee because Filipina women are simply the best. Tony B is on the mark with his advice.
3. Yes, but you have to do that in about every country in the world. America is no different. I had to pay off her parents by convincing them with very elloberate lies about how I was the best man for there daughter, playing the nice sensible guy, and doing everything they said so I wouldn't make them mad.... I wish I just could have given them a couple thousand dollars and made off with there daughter.. It would have been much much easier and no doubt we will have to take care of them when they retire since there a bunch of dead beats with no retirement prospects but social security. So, will you have to pay off her parents and take care of them just before they die. YES. No matter where she is from.
4. No.
5. In some areas of mindanao: specially when your fiancee is a muslim, dowry is still practiced coz its a part of their tradition and religion. Dowry doesnt mean payment for parent's subsistence. Giving dowry is a way of showing how serious you are and how you can afford to raise a family. Sometimes after marriage, parents returned the given dowry to the newly wed couple. Taking care of elderly, and parents while they are alive is a part of Filipino Culture, you have to accept it. But since you will going to bring with you your new wife in your own country, a pledge will be made between your wife and her parents, like; she will going to sent them money every month or every year
6. nope. there is no dowry system here in the phillipines. taking care of the parents in their old age is a cultural thing. children are expected to take care of them when they are old and retired. it is a way to show gratitude to to your old folks. so you two should work it out on how much you would be giving and how often.
7. hey Filipinos arent for sale. no one can buy a parent out just becoz youre goin to marry one intiende
8. You don't pay their parents. But hey, you can pay ME!
9. Not exactly pay them off, it is not the custom we use in the Philippines. What we do is to help the parents by sending them money every month so their life is somewhat better. They take a lot of pride in that. I had been sending money to PI since I married and left the country 30 years ago, my parents are now here, my sisters, and brother, it helped them have a better education and better their lives due to money I sent. For the unfortunate ones that werent able to migrate here, their children will as they are taking nursing all for the money I sent and it isnt very much to affect my family or my lifestyle but it affect the ones in the Philippines in positive way. Thank you for asking, it makes me feel that you care about this tradition. Goodluck
10. Yes among Filipino muslims, but not to us Roman Catholics. My daughter's boyfriend is an American and are planning to get married soon. What I only expect from him is to love our daughter and care for her. That will be enough.
11. Depends on the religion of the girl. Some religions here and tribes still practice that. But if the family is modernized then probably not. If the family will insist on it, I think they are just milking you honey. I'm from the Philippines. Better be on guard
12. It isn't really a case of "paying of the parents." When you, a foreigner, marry a Filipina you instantly inherit an entire family. I am married to a Filipina and I can proudly say that I help her family. I cannot sit down to a good meal knowing that someone I know has to survive on salty fish and rice. We send money every month and parcels at least twice a year and more money for Birthdays. The little it costs us is far out weighed by the knowledge that we are helping someone survive. I sleep well at night.
13. no you do not have to do that. in the very very very ancient times, girls are used to pay off the family debt but not anymore. girls shouldnt be treated that way :)
14. You do not need to "pay off " the parents but of course helping them is probably the right thing to do. Of course not all Filipinos need financial assistance but it is a very caring cultture and helping each other comes natural to filipinos so if you can help her family you should want to do so. I send balikbayan boxes and money from time to time. I also have started sending load to help help them all for using cell phone and so my girl can send me text msg and call me more. Small things go a long way in the Philippines!
15. I'm here now in US married a western man. Ever since he never sent money to my family,he said to me that it's not his obligation to support them and its true. Now I'm working here and send my family a money every month. It's a Filipino tradition to help there family,relatives once we have extra money.It's really up to you if you gonna help her parents but its not paying off. You should not used paying off words because we "filipina is not for sale". There are some Filipino's still asking something from men who wants to marry there daughter but its not paying off it's called dowry but it's only in Muslim community. We Filipino's really care our older folks that's why we send them money and help our relatives sending them to school so they can have a good and brighter future because That's all we want for them. We work here in abroad so we can send them money. Filipino parent's all they want for there children is to be happy with the man they love either you are Filipino or foreigner as long as they know that she's happy with you not because you pay them. If you send them money it should be come from the bottom of your hurt not because you need to pay them.
16. If any foreigner want to marry a filipina, He must have an open mind and be willing to give some contribution to the struggle and hard living in some filipino families. I believe its okay to give a small percentage but not above average. I don't want people relying on me too much for everything. Giving reasonably is okay for me. Any foreigner should be okay if they learn to understand the situation and accept the reality of the matter. Love overcomes all challenges. Me and my filipina wife are very much in Love. I feel happy to be in her life and that is what counts.
17. No but the parents will expect to live with your guys.
18. you dont pay the parents if you want to marry a filipina but they would think that it would be nice if you can help them...